If you’re a single man in Kyiv, you deserve sympathy and advice so that hopefully those long cold nights will soon become long and hot instead. Ukrainian women are different from the women you might be used to back home – they are beautiful and they pride themselves in it; they are feminine and like to take good care of their appearance; they are intelligent and philosophical, sensitive and delicate; and their view of dating and relationships is not the same as that in current day America or Europe.
The Goods News
Let’s start with the silver lining – you may look like a sack of potatoes that’s sprouting hairs from being left in the sun for three weeks, and then battered with a stick, but you’re still in with a chance. Ukrainian girls, while they love to look after themselves, aren’t so hung up on the looks of their men as their western counterparts. Good clothes, however, will impress (and an iPhone), but apart from that, the sort of man you are and how you behave is far more important.
Let’s start with locations for meeting ladies – there’s a million of them around town. In fact, even the metro or the street have lots of potential. As far as clubs and bars are concerned, it’s a case of take your pick. Places such as Decadence and Buddha Bar are worth a visit if you’re looking for really glamourous ladies. And of course there’s the never ending circuit of new places opening up (Crystal Hall and D-Lux being the most recent additions to Kyiv’s nightlife scene) where you’re going to find those who like to keep up with the most recent trends.
The danger with these places is the chances are higher you’ll meet girls who’re more likely to empty your wallet long before ‘love’ enters the equation, but that might be okay with you. If, however, you’re looking for something with a little more emotion in the equation, then there are other places to go, places where the ladies might not be so mercenary.
Places where you might meet such ladies would be just about any of the bars around town, such as Viola’s, 44 or a Bochka or two, and for clubbing why not try somewhere like Tsar Project or Shooters.
What a Woman Wants
As previously stated, Ukrainian ladies are not so hung up on looks. In fact, it’s quite low on their list. What is far more important is how you behave. Now, every girl here has been hit on a million times, and when you first approach you’re likely to receive an icy blast of indifference, and you possibly may even receive a look of disdain you thought was only ever reserved for dog shit on the shoe. But this is nothing personal; it is probably how she would respond to everyone but Brad Pitt. So don’t take offence. Don’t be hurt. What you need to do now is persevere. Ukrainian ladies admire strong men who go after what they want, and if you give up at the first hurdle you’re out of there. So don’t get huffy.
Confidence and determination is what she wants to see from you, so you need to act like her brush off was nothing, keep smiling, and keep talking. Humour is everything at this point, so make her laugh, and get her talking. Offer to buy her a drink of course – generosity of heart is one thing, but generosity itself is better.
Compliments are expected, but don’t tell her she’s beautiful – she knows that already. Instead, pick out a specific feature and tell her how unique it is. Eyes, hair, nose, bum, legs, whatever it is that catches your eye, tell her, and tell her with passion. Also, be aware that Kyiv girls, under the brusque exterior, have very kind hearts – they hate to hurt people. So as a last resort, seek a little sympathy. You may just touch her heart.
It’s important at this point to bear in mind that contact is all you’re looking for at this stage. You want some conversation. You want to know her. Nothing more. At least, that’s what she needs to think. Buy her a few drinks, be interested in her and interesting to her, and get her number. Don’t try and take her home, you’re more than likely to blow it if you do.
Winning Her Heart
Now you have her number you have to relax and take it easy. A Kyivlanka responds well to allure, and badly to a man who is pushy. Dating is a slow and evocative process in Ukraine. You have to woo her. But gently. For sure, send her an sms to let her know you’re thinking about her, but a little bit of mystery is going to go a long way. Wait a while before asking her out on a date.
Contrary to popular belief, not all Ukrainian girls need to be taken to somewhere hugely expensive to be impressed. But you should take her somewhere nice. And flowers are an integral part of dating culture here, so you’re going to win yourself lots of brownie points by having a small but beautiful bunch in your hand when she meets you. She’s going to be incredibly disappointed if you don’t. And she’s only going to ask for them at some point, so save you and her the embarrassment with a pre-emptive botanic strike.
Be gentle with her, and polite, but be strong as well. As previously stated, women here are attracted to strength of personality, so don’t let her walk all over you. A polite but firm rebuttal will work wonders for her view of you if she’s becoming overly self-assured. In fact, an impolite one can work well too, but it has to be delivered properly with the right level of nonchalance. If you go down this route you’re treading on very thin ice, so be careful.
By now you should be well on the road to love, but she’s a long way from admitting it. There’s still a lot of work to be done – more dates (which can include anything from coffee and dessert to a night at the Opera House); more attention combined with some subtle indifference; more flowers (but not every time, it’s good to keep her guessing); in fact, more of everything.
Most importantly of all, take your time! Enjoy the experience. Savour the moments you spend in her company. Get to know her, and let her get to know you. It’s a wonderful life, Kyiv is a wonderful town, and she’s a wonderful girl!